Seeing Stars with Mark 21 November - 4 December 2009
Posted in Seeing Stars with Mark on November 22nd, 2009Hello Friends!
Here we are with the holiday season in full swing! Next week is Thanksgiving, and the Christmas decorations have been on sale since Halloween! As our grocery lists get longer and our time disappears, the tensions slowly builds, our fear and resentment start to colonize like bacteria, and before we know it BANG! we go postal at the dinner table with all of our friends and family there to witness the explosion, creating more self-abasing fodder for years to come. The joy of the holiday season….
OR, we can accept our past as something that no longer exists except in our minds, accept the people in our lives for the flawed beings that they are, give thanks for the bounty in our lives, and give thanks for the very fact of life itself (we could have been returned to this earth as ants or coral, dust mites or mosquitoes!). I recently had a great session with my friend Laya Seghi and she determined, using a Psych-K balancing technique, that I needed some help integrating the following statement: I forgive myself and others for all of the wrongs done to me, and I accept full responsibility for my own life. This statement really captures the essence of the cosmic line up for me this week. Pluto in Capricorn squared by Saturn in Libra is making doubly clear that we must take responsibility for our own lives and accept the beds we have made for ourselves. This does not mean that we cannot change the linens! As adults, it takes two to tango (or two to tangle, if you grew up in SC), and even though we love to blame our dancing partners, the reality is that we cannot be independent and free while also claiming to be manipulated and held back. Either we claim responsibility for ourselves and own our experience, or we deliver our power over to others. We cannot have it both ways.
Assuming we leave the victimized mentality behind and take responsibility for ourselves, we can look back and see how we also contribute to the continuation of negative patterns and the repetition of unfortunate experiences from our pasts. Low self-esteem is certainly at the top of my list, along with the need to please others, and a misunderstanding of what a “good” relationship is. However, I accept these qualities about myself, and I now understand that the people who played their part in these patterns of mine were lessons sent to me by the universe so that I could learn that these things were not good for me. Now, I can look back and understand that the people and situations which caused me so much pain and drama in the past were my best teachers, because through the example of our shared experiences, I now know that when my self-esteem is low, I should engage in activities that make me feel good about myself, not worse. Duh… but how many of us will debase ourselves further in this frame of mind? When I disagree with another person, I now know that I have the right to my own feelings and the right to protect them even if the other person is angered by my actions. I also know that in a good relationship, communication and allowing everyone the space to own their own feelings, whether we agree with them or not, is healthy. I love reminding Paul, when we argue, that agreement is not required. I love it even more when he tells me the same, because I have usually lost sight of that truth at that point, and I appreciate him bringing me back to reality.
Claiming responsibility allows healing, which is another major cosmic theme right now. Jupiter, Chiron, and Neptune are still involved in their year long conjunction, soon to end in January 2010. With Saturn in Libra, the sign of relationship, our lessons will now include drills on relating well. We heal our ability to relate well when we accept responsibility for ourselves and our feelings, and when we accept responsibility for expressing them appropriately. If we allow others to do the same and practice patience (as their skills may not be as honed as ours), then our relationships will bloom and prosper, or end. Should a relationship end, this should be viewed as progress, because it shows that at least one of the folks has learned that the relationship has served it purpose and that it is time to move on to the next lesson. All things change, even - and especially- long term, healthy relationships!
Jupiter expands whatever it touches, and over the next two weeks, Jupiter will be aspected by Mercury, Venus, and Mars. The angles of the relationships will determine the direction of the expansion. The angles will involve a mixture of easy flow, tension, and conflict. The trick to managing most of this energy will be to engage from a healing, self-referenced, and responsible perspective. If crazy Aunt Beth is demeaning and rude, then imagine how unhappy, bitter, and disappointed with life she must be. If Dad spends more time watchingtv than interacting, then remember how poorly equipped, and subsequently isolated, he is not to have meaningful interaction with his loved ones. Yes, it is difficult at times, but so is making a living and raising a child, but we do this, too.
Mars will build to a tri-octile aspect with Pluto over the Thanksgiving weekend. Tri-octile aspects reveal tension and the need for the release of that tension. Interesting, as this is exactly what family holidays reveal, too! Take a deep breath, take responsibility for yourself and your experience, remember the shortcomings, difficulties, and disappointments of those around you, and allow the greater connectedness of the universe to show you the humor and pointlessness of maintaining your old patterns. Humor is great way to acknowledge something without engaging in conflict, just make sure your humor is not sarcastic or passive-aggressive. Be light, be funny, and accept that families are imperfect and flawed by definition.
I forgive myself and others for all of the wrongs done to me, and I accept full responsibility for my own life…and full responsibility for enjoying it!
Happy Thanksgiving! I’ll meet you back here on December 4th!
with love
m







